he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
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Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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