worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
