exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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