im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Randomize
