How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
