My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
