living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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