i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
