OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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