I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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