saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
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