And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
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