Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
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