Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize
