I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
