real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
