i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
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A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
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