During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Randomize
