Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
you inspire me to be a worse person
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
