My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
