i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
What changed your mind?
Being sober
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
