FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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