Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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