I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Randomize
