So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
