I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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