so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I just gargled with NyQuil
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
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