Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize
