you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
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