No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
