oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
