What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Randomize
