I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
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