apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize