Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
