this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
