Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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