We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
false alarm, still single
Randomize
