everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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