im drinking this country out of the recession.
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Randomize
