I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
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