if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
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