Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Randomize
