why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
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