Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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