apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
ttyl tear gas
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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