I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Randomize
