lets start a swedish sibling band together
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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