I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
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