Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
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