he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
