Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
