roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
zippers are such a cool invention
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
NoShamevember. You game?
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
