You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize