He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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