just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Randomize
