just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Randomize
