I want to stick my p in your. b.
Say something about gay babies.
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
