my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
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No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
where are my eyebrows?
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
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