theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
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