you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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