I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
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"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
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