New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
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